On 26 June, the Zimbabwe Republic Police sent social media into a frenzy when they announced that three pistol-packing suspects had raided a bank in Mt Darwin in the dead of night, knocked out a security guard, blasted open a safe, and allegedly made off with US$700 000 and 2.4kg of gold.
Cue the chaos.
Social media detectives went wild. Conspiracy theories flew. Memes popped up faster than popcorn in a microwave. But the latest update from the boys in blue has deflated the hype like a punctured tyre.
According to a follow-up police statement, “Following further investigations, the case is now being treated as an attempted robbery, as all the cash and gold have since been recovered.”
No further details or explanations were issued. It appears the supposed super criminals failed to make off with even a coin or gold flake. The stash is all back in the bank’s vault, safe and sound. Turns out the bang wasn’t followed by a big getaway but a big oops.
No word yet on how close the robbers got to escaping with the loot or whether they were nabbed with their fingers still dusty from the safe. Cops have promised more juicy details soon.
For now, the great Mt Darwin bank robbery is officially one of Zimbabwe’s most dramatic failed missions.B Metro
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