Sunday 12 November 2017


I got pregnant in 2010, upon realising this I fled to my boyfriend’s place and his people accepted me as one of their own but surprisingly he treated me like a stranger. I drank poison because of the way he was treating me, fortunately God saved me for reasons only known to him. 

The father of my baby visited me in hospital and said some hurtful words and that is when I realised kuti ndirikumanikidzira kugara nemunhu asirikundida. I went back to my parents’ place and I gave birth to my baby. After a year I moved to South Africa to seek gainful employment. In December 2014 the father of my baby told me he wanted me back. I was blinded by love, I foolishly forgave him and gave him another chance despite what he had done to me in the past. 

I came back to Zimbabwe and he paid lobola for me and we moved in together. Afterwards I then found out he had conveniently forgot to tell me that he sired a kid with a different woman when I was in South Africa. I had to find out the hard way when I went through his phone. He claims he would have told me down the line. I do not know if I will ever love him again. I feel like the mother of his child will always be a distraction to our relationship. When 
I called his baby mama he got so angry. 

Mai Chisamba, I feel insecure, I feel bitter inside sometimes ndinotongonyararira murume kusatoda kutaura naye. I am just confused and hurt at times ndinopedzera shungu pakurova mwana asina kana paatadza. I do not want to keep feeling this way; what should I do? I do not want to just be in this marriage for the sake of my kids. I know my husband is trying his best akatokumbira ruregerero but I am finding it hard to believe him especially when I recall the harsh things he did to me in the past. I feel very cheated. He used to communicate with this other woman and delete the chats soon after. Please assist


 I was shocked to say the least. How on earth can a mother to be attempt suicide because of ill-treatment from a boyfriend? I always say when people are expecting they must improve their reasoning. In short you also wanted to kill an innocent baby because of the treatment you got from the father of your baby? 

Do you not see how selfish and cruel that is? This guy used to come to the hospital when you were sick and say hurtful words; why did you allow that nonsense? You should have reported him to the hospital authorities and he would have been barred from visiting you. Even the sick have their rights. From my point of view all you wanted was kunzi wakarorwa. 

I see you were imposing yourself so much. Your people did not want you to go back but still you went back. It is good to give an ear to what family members say. You are too self centered and do not seem to take heed to anything others say. It is very sad that when you are angry you take it out on an innocent child. You should be ashamed of yourself. Children have either been maimed or killed nekuita hasha dzisina mugano. 

You need to see a counselor immediately, you could even lose your child because of ill-treatment. Your husband now has a child out of wedlock and that is a permanent thing and it is very unfortunate. You must, however, still make up your mind to either take it or leave it. If you have forgiven him then you need to chart a way forward. You cannot be so unhappy right through life. Marriage is about love that is the main ingredient so if this is lacking then there is no marriage. Please engage a professional counselor who will help you deal with your anger. You are now a mother of two think of your family before you try anything irrational like suicide or just beating up a child for no god reason. When you make a decision please be true to yourself.

 If you cannot forgive and move on please go back home. You only live once and you cannot spend the rest of your life hurting and sulking it is not worth it. Your husband wronged you and has asked for forgiveness, it is up to you to decide his fate. Last but not least I repeat it is very urgent that you get help, work on your anger management. Pray about this, God will give you the inner peace that you need. I wish you all the best.


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