The State has
unleashed its worst to keep me here and mostly in total disregard of the
Constitution. I know I will be staying
here longer for the sins of freedoms, particularly that of expression. I stay
in the D class section with the most dangerous criminals. My friends the journey has not been easy and
it remains extremely difficult as we nudge forward; it’s a marathon, not a
sprint. It’s very uncomfortable but unavoidable. It’s a journey filled with frustrations and
pain which at times overwhelms me to tears, anger and pushes me to the edge of
emotional breakdown.
During these
times of near emotional breakdown, I have fought with everyone around me. I
have fought with my fantastic legal team, and my fellow colleagues in the media
who have been standing head and shoulders in my defense. I have fought with my
employer of choice and even with my own family. Prison dear friends is a dark
place it taints the soul and clouds one’s judgement, for when in pain, alone
and closed out to the world life is not the same.
We begin to see
friends as enemies and all good efforts towards us as insufficient. I tell you
friends, these walls of punishment built by Smith and abused by our own carry
with them a curse that needs a strong heart and mind to survive. Dear friends, I am in pain, lost and sadly
broken. This experience is not just a today event, but it will traumatize me
for the rest of my life.
It’s a terrible
battle which however I can’t afford to lose. It’s not easy to keep going but I
have no choice to quit nor the desire to stop.
Honestly I can’t imagine how I would have survived without your voices
of solidarity and love. Your donations towards my upkeep in this dark place
will never be forgotten or taken for granted. My lawyers bring me all your
encouraging words and deeds of compassion. I say this without fear of
contradicting myself - it is you who have carried me.
As I write,
shaking, not from the strong violent bouts of cough, which have erased my smile
over the past week and at worst have rocked this pen out of my hands. I am
overwhelmed with tears, not from the pain of pre-trial punishment. It’s tears
not from the moving songs of worship sung by fellows in my cell, some who have
killed and some have robbed others at gun point no. These are tears of joy and
determination to go on, all this watered by the blood of your sacrifices and
support.
I wish to thank you all from the centre of my
being, which center remains solid even in the face of adversity. I am told that you have raised 4000 pounds
toward my welfare through a GofundMe organized by fellow journalist and brother
Hopewell Chin’ono appointed by family and myself to so lead. My heart is humbled by this act of love,
which I have no doubt that I have not earned in anyway. There are many who have
donated through other channels.
These efforts
have kept my kids in school and fed. They have also spared me the pain of
eating the sad story of food fed to fellow prisoners here. These rations which
hardly pass the definition of meals are not even pleasing to the eye, I
honestly wonder what extent of assault the tastebuds of those who eat this food
endure. I thank you for not forgetting me or my family. Although in pain, I
remain unshaken and committed to my profession of choice. I strongly believe
that it’s the ordinary people who matter more than those who control the levers
of power.
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