Chamisa tells us he will not go for a Congress, certainly not before 2023 harmonised elections.
Yet he is Triple C’s presidential aspirant.
He relied on Hopewell Chin’ono — a.k.a. meemee goat
investor of Murehwa — to fly the kite.
This stupendous goat investor lately has been Chamisa’s
trusted errand boy. Including on probing missions for a pact with Zanu-PF.
About that, let little be said for now.
But he flew the kite, and did so with the panache of a bull
in a China shop!
Hard and hot in tow was Hwende, ready to officialise what
Hopewell seemed to goof about: Triple C would not go to Congress ahead of 2023!
Congress is expensive business, Hwende added, pasting some USD2m cost tag to
it.
The harmonised elections themselves would need some USD200m
or more, he opined.
When a Professor from the East went berserk
That put the Triple C dove-coat in a swooning flutter.
All hell broke loose, with Professor Jonathan Moyo — Triple
C’s unhappy ideologue — stridently registering vehement objections.
How could anyone sane and with any pretensions to
democratic credentials sidestep so crucial a stage and process to leadership
legitimacy, wailed the Professor from the East.
He quoted chapter and verse, quoted all and any example
from history — history past, present and future — to fortify his outrage at
this political abomination most foul!
Was he heard?
Triple C’s Twitter hit squads lacerated, nay eviscerated,
the good Professor, including superfluously reminding him of his G-40 roots, a
reminder he did not need, least of all from TripleC’s irreverent kids.
Not known to take blows lying, the Professor came back,
darting venom, spitting big book, and big English on his hapless “O”Level
tormentors.
What political burlesque! In feigned politeness and with a
mighty hoof in cheek, I asked the good Professor: do you think they grasp this
recondite stuff you are adumbrating?
He ignored me, suitably!
Beyond the burlesque, I found the defence raised by
Chamisa’s people a sample of political tragicomedy.
Let’s face it, Triple C is the West’s vehicle for a
neo-colonial project targeting Zimbabwe.
It is not organically connected to any interest or
community of interest, the way Zanu-PF is.
Zanu-PF is united around legacy and land; Chamisa’s Triple
C around nothing, which is why it has no bidding ideology or interest around
which to coalesce.
While most of us forgave Tsvangirai, Chamisa’s predecessor,
we find it hard to grant Chamisa the poetic license of earthiness.
Chamisa and those around him preen themselves as part of
Zimbabwe’s literati, the learned one in his case.
In typical Dickensian style, he is a coxcomb who loves big
statute books behind him as props.
Let’s grant him all such pretences. But he should not blame
us for measuring him by the rod of his own choosing.
So many bald excuses
With him unilaterally — nay unconstitutionally — at the
helm, one thought the West’s neo-colonial project had acquired some modicum of
literate local leadership; that however misplaced and treacherous to country
and continent, the project would be sold better to the masses, with a fair
amount of decent pretences.
Not what we got after the Professor’s rejoinder! Congresses
are a Zanu-PF mechanism for infiltrating the opposition, one bald section of
his supporters bellowed!
Did ZANU-PF itself go to Congress after 2017 “coup”, wailed
another section! Why won’t the courts fast-track the legitimacy case in courts
against President Mnangagwa, yelled yet another section of Chamisa’s
supporters!
Who says congresses are a must for a political party,
roared another portion!
To which another added: we have no Constitution, meaning
nothing provides for a Congress!
You can’t breach a Constitution which doesn’t exist, came
another dart!
When a toddler drops two milk teeth
Never in my little life did I ever imagine I would meet,
let alone grapple, with this type of crass political thinking in this column.
Never at all.
Yet here I am, afflicted by it, and in this my late life!
Let’s start with the bedrock: the party Constitution.
Triple C says it has no Constitution; and because it does
not have a Constitution, nothing provides for a Congress! In one illogical
logic, two Cs are knocked off the Triple!
The name Triple C
now looks incongruous, what with only one C left!
It’s like a day-old toddler growing, decaying and dropping
two milk teeth in the crib!
You don’t snuff out an original or antecedent sin by
inanely leapfrogging to brew a false debate on the succedent.
Why doesn’t Triple C have a Constitution anyway?
While claiming it is ready to govern, but without a
governing covenant in its home!
Even the earthy Tsvangirai was literate enough to use NCA
as an interim vehicle as the yet-to-be-launched MDC was “working” on its
constitution!
Why not become a monarchical party?
What we now have at the helm is a man who by
self-proclamation is an advocate who says he sits in chambers.
But he seems completely unaware that an organisation called
a party needs a ‘setting’/founding document?
And this several years after Tsvangirai passes on, and
after usurping power thereafter?
And this more than a year after losing the party he usurped
to one Mwonzora, and staying as long and quiescently in nameless constitutional
twilight before emerging from the chrysalis as Triple C?
Worse, with a whole year to go before the next harmonised
elections, he cannot envisage drafting a constitution, because he can’t stand
democracy on whose ticket he rose?
And because he won’t subject himself to an elective
Congress such a constitution enjoins?
Well, let him draw up a constitution for a monarchical party;
monarchs don’t run on womb constitutions, on DNAs!
We refuse to be stampeded into the next, false question:
Why is Triple C without a constitution in the first place?
So they have a bad, unconscionable retort to charges of not
holding a Congress?
What monster have these guys sired and let loose upon
Zimbabwe’s political society? Sunday Mail
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