BUSINESSWOMAN : LESSONS FROM MY DIVORCE

Businessman Theodora Madzinga-Chinembiri has written about the life she has spent in the past five years as a divorcee.

Madzinga-Chinembiri is also an author.

Titled “5 Years A Divorcee,” the memoir chronicles her journey of healing and growth after her 19-year marriage ended in divorce.

The 46-year-old, shares the lessons she picked and the things she wishes someone had told her before she took the step.

The mother of four shares her story of love, loss, and transformation, offering a raw and honest account of her experiences as a divorcee.

In an interview with Zimpapers Arts and Entertainment Hub, Madzinga-Chinembiri said she wrote the book as a way of challenging societies to confront the cancer of broken marriages.

“I wish societies, and especially churches, are more willing to sit down and talk about divorce.

“It’s not a taboo subject. Many marriages throughout the world are in turmoil and married people should not sweep their problems under the carpet.

“I wrote my book as a way of challenging society to confront the cancer of broken marriages that has blanketed our families.

“At least, we had 19 years, some couples are divorcing within a year of marriage.

“I encourage those of us who have gone through the painful journey of divorce to openly share with others so that they do not repeat our mistakes.

“I equally encourage those who are married to humble themselves and take heed to the words of divorcees like myself because you can learn one or two things.

“No one sets out to fail in life but it takes a lot of courage to rise again after failing in marriage.

“It takes even more courage to lay it down for others and say here is where I went wrong.”

One of her biggest surprises was when her ex-husband removed her from his medical aid and funeral policy, leaving her feeling vulnerable and uncertain.

“I never thought he’d do that. It was a harsh reality check, and I wish someone had warned me about it.

“We were married for 19 years and had for children, two girls and two boys.

“Our marriage broke down due to broken vows and perhaps it was because we married too young at 20 and 23 before finding our feet in the world.

“While the marital relationship between us broke down irretrievably, we always agreed on putting our children first ahead of our personal desires.”

During her marriage she and her children were used to a luxurious lifestyle of trips but for her the past five years things have been different.

“The first two years were very hard but I learnt to downsize and downgrade our lifestyle.

“We have not gone on any holiday in the last five  years with my kids but we do have other cheaper ways of pursuing recreational activities.

“I am now used to smaller fuel-efficient cars and the bigger cars we owned years back are now just a memory.

“However, I have always been a hard worker and I learnt to run multiple streams of income.

“I ran a catering and baking business while pursuing a professional career as a Financial Literacy Educator.

“He has always been fully hands on in his children’s lives and he paid all their school fees, we also share their daily living expenses.”

Theodora also shared how her family’s unwavering support helped her navigate the challenges of divorce.

“My maiden family was very supportive of whatever decision I made.

“In the seasons where I worked hard to stay married in spite of our problems, they stood with me.

“And when I announced that I had finally decided to file for divorce, three of my sisters contributed to pay my lawyer.

“Outside of my family, I faced rejection from some sections of society and some people stopped talking to me because I filed for divorce.”

Besides being an author, Theodora is a Soft Skills Trainer who specialises in financial literacy education, personal development, self-motivation and optimal productivity.

Her training career spans over 20 years and includes training assignments within Zimbabwe and in other countries such as Tanzania, Indonesia and recently Uganda where she participated in the Aflatoun International Social and Financial skills training for African youths.

Her best work includes being one of the facilitators for the Old Mutual On The Money programme from its inception in 2014, to date. H Metro