SIHLESENKOSI Dube nee Ndlovu (65) still fondly remembers how eager she was to walk more than two kilometres from her home to Mvundlana Primary School, Tsholotsho in the 1970s, just to receive a letter from her prospective boyfriend.
Back then, letters were the quickest form of communication
and the only way she could keep in touch with a man who had proposed love to
her.
She had made a covenant with her heart to give Mehluli Dube
a hard time before saying yes to his proposal, at least that made sense to her
generation.
The long walks to the school lasted five months and in all
his letters, Dube maintained the fact that he loved and wanted to marry her.
She eventually gave in and this year she celebrates 46
years of blissful marriage with her sweetheart whom she spotted in April 1975
during a church service at a Seventh Day Adventist church in Tsholotsho.
The love struck ‘girl’ said she still does not regret
saying yes to her husband who has maintained his love, romance and commitment
for the past years.
Dube who was working at Datlabs then could not frequent
Tsholotsho to see the ‘petite girl’ whom he knew was going to be his wife.
Sharing her love story with Chronicle this week, Gogo Dube
said hers was love at first sight and she does not regret meeting the man of
her dreams.
“I met him after church sometime in April and he confessed
that he had been admiring me from afar and was interested in a relationship.
I liked him there and then but I could not show my interest
immediately, he could have thought I was an easy target,” she said laughing at
the thought.
“He used to write me letters begging and asking that I give
him a chance. After five months I decided to give in and 45 years later, I am
still happy to be his woman,” she says with eyes full of love.
Gogo Dube said her husband was a romantic charmer boy from
day one, one who is not shy praising her at gatherings and gets her presents
even up to today.
“I have been a fan of Choice Assorted biscuits and toffee
sweets from day one and after such a long time, Khulu buys them and still hides
some little surprises for me under the pillow, just like he did during our
first day in marriage.
It’s like I fall for him every single day and I can confirm
that true love exists because this man has never made me doubt his commitment
from the day we got married on 29 June 1976,” she said.
She also said Khulu Dube still gets her presents for
birthdays, Mother’s Day and anytime gifts to keep their love burning.
“Our sex life has been amazing too and I sometimes wonder
what I did right because Khulu has never cheated on me, not that he is perfect
but he commits to our love daily and that keeps me glowing, as old as I am,” she
said.
For Gogo, the secret behind her happy marriage has been
prayer, trust, patience and showering each other with love despite
circumstances.
“I have been a housewife my whole life but Khulu never gave
me reason to wish I was working because even financially he has been amazing.
I think the other reason is because I have respected him
from day one and that keeps him motivated to shower me with all the love,” she
said. She said young couples should never tire in mastering love languages and
working on improving their unions daily.
“Marriage is hard work, you can never get to a point where
you can relax, and now you put in efforts every day of your life,” she said.
To younger women, Gogo said they should always respect
their man, put an effort to maintain clean homes and be patient with men for
happier homes.
“We cannot have women who are always sick and will have
excuses on why they are not having sex or doing other chores which are part of
their duties as wives.
Khulu always likes it when I wash his clothes and iron
myself that I still do even today because I know it makes him happy. I think
couples should focus on basics and small gestures that can surprisingly keep
their love lives burning,” she said.
For ‘sweet’ Khulu Dube who is turning 73 this June, his
sweetheart was an answered prayer and he draws inspiration from the Biblical
Adam who loved his wife more than himself.
“Love is the only gift from God that keeps us going and I
aim to love my wife till the end of time because she deserves it. When I first
spotted her back in 1975 while visiting my aunt, she was a petite shy girl and
after consulting my elders I knew that she would be my wife,” said the slim
built Khulu Dube who spots a unique hairstyle “umqhekezo”.
“It is possible to maintain happy homes as long as both
parties play their roles in keeping each other happy. There is no perfect
marriage but I believe two people can agree to make their marriage the best by
how they treat each other,” he said.
Khulu Dube said the high number of divorces these days is
fueled by the fact that people chose not to be content. He said marriage should
be founded on real love and not material things like beauty and wealth as these
may vanish.
“We should commit ourselves to loving one woman and if you
teach yourself to be content you will be able to love only one woman. I also
encourage men to also learn to say sorry, it really helps to keep happy homes,”
he said. Khulu said due to the undying love for his wife, he had already
finished payng her bride price as she was worth everything.
“Yes, we fight and have disagreements but we talk about
them and find a solution together because we are a team. I believe I should
never ever give my wife a reason to regret why she said yes to me 45 years ago.
It’s my daily aspiration,” he said as he cast a loving eye on her.
He encouraged couples to refrain from entertaining other
people interfering in their marriages including parents, relatives and friends.
“We should respect our wives and protect them even from our
own families to sustain marriages. They are not sex slaves, in fact sex should
be enjoyed by both parties without restrictions or excessive demands.
We must spice things in the bedroom. God should reign in
our hearts and he will inspire us to lead happy and abuse-free homes so that we
stay longer in marriage,” he advised. The couple said while many wait for days
like Valentine’s to buy gifts, to them love is expressed daily.
“Men should love their women, provide for them and ensure
that they do everything to keep them happy. It is easy to love and commit to
one woman if you are connected to the Source of Love –God Himself,” added Khulu
Dube.
The Dube family was blessed with four children, three girls
and a boy who have borne six grandchildren in total. They used to stay in
Entumbane suburb before Khulu Dube retired at Datlabs in 2014 and they have
moved to their homestead in Mtshazo Village, Gongwe Area, Gwanda, Matabeleland
South.
Their happy, unflinching love story is well-known in their
village. Chronicle
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