DOMESTIC violence, a form of gender-based violence (GBV), tears families apart and potentially expose children who witness this between parents to risks of long-term physical and mental health challenges.
While both women and men experience GBV, research has shown
that women and girls are disproportionately affected.
The Covid-19 pandemic has resulted in increased incidents of
GBV in the country, as lockdowns have been confining both perpetrator and the
victim in the same confined space.
However, the recently launched National Gender-Based
Violence Call Centre and 575 toll-free number — a brainchild of First Lady
Auxillia Mnangagwa — is helping expose cases of domestic violence and child
abuse.
After suffering in silence for a long time at the hands of
her husband and enduring constant beatings while her children watched, Ms
Nyasha Murungweni (30) from Dema last week gathered courage and dialled 575
seeking motherly advice.
The violence had been going on for years, even before the
lockdown. She pleaded with the First Lady to intervene in her marriage, which
she said was falling apart.
She had lost hope of ever living in peace in her own home,
as she had exhausted all channels of redress.
Ms Murungweni begged the mother of the nation to spare some
time for her and her husband Mr Samuel Sanyangowe (32) so that the couple could
tap into her wisdom. Their wish was granted when they met the First Lady
yesterday.
Narrating her ordeal while fighting back tears, she said
her husband was in the habit of physically assaulting her and insulting her
using obscene language in front of their children aged 10 and two.
“Amai ndati ndipoterewo kwamuri kuti mutiyananisewo sevana
venyu. When my husband goes for a beer drink, he returns very late while drunk
and demands food and I comply,” she said.
“He starts complaining and accusing me of not respecting
him. “I do not at times respond but he continues to threaten to chase me out of
the family house together with the children. He accuses me of cheating on him
and he starts assaulting me.”
Her husband, she added, sends people to spy on her
movements while he is at work. “I always challenge him to present evidence that
I am having extra-marital affairs because he has never caught me red-handed.
“But he simply says he has his spies who feed him with
information on my movements. “He continues to assault me daily and police
officers now know us because we are always at the police station over domestic
violence.
“He does not take care of the family and when I fall sick,
he refuses to give me money to seek medical attention.
“He even questions my hair style, which is a lady’s cut,
and the type of lotion I use, saying I want to attract other men. “He wants me
to apply petroleum jelly only.”
She said because of the violence, their eldest child who is
10-years-old was now experiencing emotional, mental and social problems that
could affect her development and growth.
“My husband also threatens our child with violence when she
tries to restrain him. He is always threatening to kill us such that we now
live in fear. “His uncle at times restrains him but they have all given up now.
“As we speak, I have scars all over the body as a result of
his assaults.” Ms Murungweni said when she heard about the National
Gender-Based Violence Call Centre-575, she did not hesitate to call and tell
her story.
“When I heard on radio about the 575 hotline, I decided to
phone the number. “Amai, I love my husband and I want you to help us live in
peace — that is why we are here today,” she added.
In response, Mr Sanyangowe admitted to having marital
problems. He said they always have misunderstandings with his wife because of
his suspicion that she was having an extra-marital affair. “The issue of
cheating is true because I heard about it on two occasions from my relatives
and friends.
‘‘At first I forgave her when she did it for the first time
when we were in Mutare,” he said. “We later relocated to Dema and again she
repeated the same thing. I did not catch her red-handed but my friends and
other relatives told me.
“I love my wife but whenever I suspect that she is
cheating, I give her a thorough beating. “Also sometimes she disrespects me and
shouts at me in front of the children, leaving me with no choice but to
‘discipline her’”
After listening to the couple, the First Lady said violence
can destroy families. “SaAmai chishuwo changu kuti vanhu vagare murudo
nemurunyararo pasina dzimba dzaputsika nekurambana,” she said.
“Children need to grow up in a secure and nurturing
environment. Where domestic violence exists, the home is not safe or secure and
children are scared about what might happen to them and the people they love.
“Children cannot feel safe or happy if their mother is
being hurt or if their parents are always at loggerheads. The way you are fighting every day in front
of the kids hazvina kunaka vanangu.
“Naizvozvo, zvamauya kuna Amai zvanaka because we are going
to look at the root cause of all this and find a lasting solution.”
Turning to the woman, Amai Mnangagwa said: “If what your
husband is accusing you of doing is true, then you must put an end to it.
“You are a married woman who should remain steadfast in her
marriage. As your mother, I discourage such shameless behaviour. Cheating can
severely strain a marriage and leave the other person feeling devastated and
betrayed.
“You cannot challenge your husband that he should catch you
red-handed first for you to admit and correct your wrongs.
“Mwanangu, your husband loves you; if he did not, he would
have divorced you a long time ago. Also the fact that he agreed to come with
you for advice shows kuti anokuda and wants his marriage to work.” To the
husband, the First Lady made a passionate plea for him to end the violence against
his wife and children.
She said any form of violence in the home threatens the
social fabric of the family and the nation at large.
“However provoked you are, domestic violence or intimate
partner violence is never a solution. A healthy marriage, vanangu, should
provide a solid base from which to explore and achieve the best you possibly
can.
“The bottom line is violence and abuse is not okay, no
matter what you say or think your partner did.
“Zvekare mwanangu, usanyanye kuterera makuhwa vamwe vanotozviitira
kuda kuparadza imba yako.
“You should resolve your differences amicably by seeking
assistance from family elders, the police Victim Friendly Unit or even village
heads. There is no excuse for using violence even if your partner has behaved aggressively
towards you.
“We do not know who is telling the truth and who is lying,
the bottom line is that we want love to lead and peace to prevail in your
marriage,” she said.
She urged the couple to join the nation in the campaign to
create zero tolerance towards all forms of GBV.
The First Lady encouraged them to start income-generating
projects as a family, before giving them ideas of what projects they could
undertake to keep them busy and strengthen their bond.
After the one-on-one interaction with the First Lady, the
couple could not hide their joy, saying the interactive session was an
eye-opener.
They pledged to live happily and not engage in violence.
After giving the couple motherly advice, Amai Mnangagwa
referred them to professional marriage counsellors who are working with the
National Gender-Based Violence Call Centre for further management.
The toll-free number 575 and the National Gender-Based Violence
Call Centre were set up in the First Lady’s Office, where victims are swiftly
connected to police Victim Friendly Unit (VFU) or counselling services as
appropriate. he initiative comes amid a worrying increase in reported GBV
cases, including psychological, physical, sexual and all other forms of
domestic violence.
Already, Zimbabweans are now reaping benefits from the call
centre-575 hotline.
The establishment of this toll-free number by the First
Lady is a milestone in the fight against inhumane acts perpetrated mostly by
men towards defenceless women and girls.
Amai Mnangagwa, who has taken the bull by its horns,
pledged to play a significant role in curbing domestic violence. Sunday Mail
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