Saturday, 12 November 2016

I'M TORN BETWEEN MOTHER AND JOBLESS HUBBY



I am 32-years-old and happily married to my 36-year-old husband. I must say we get on very well and we are happy with the kids God has given us. When we were both working the going was good. We used to have visitors from both our families.

Last year my husband lost his job nekungoomawo kuri kuita zvinhu. He has been running around but up to now he is still unemployed. My mother has been breathing fire telling me kuti siyana nerovha riri kudya mari rakagara.

I tried to make her understand that this was not of his own making but he was just unfortunate. Now there is bad blood between me and my mother. When I call her she no longer picks up her phone. She has sworn to have nothing to do with me until I walk out on my husband because he is not working.

I am finding this very hard because we get on well and we are so much in love. She no longer comes to my house; it is my mother in-law who comes to visit or help out with the kids.

She has put me in a very tight corner to either choose her or dump my innocent husband. I am confused, please help. Is she seeing something that I am not seeing? Am I doing the right thing? This is my mother after all.

Mai Chisamba Responds
Your mum is contemplating destroying a sound marriage for no reason. Two people who are very much in love and enjoy each other’s company and love their children – that is very refreshing to hear.

The good book says what God has put together let no man put asunder. Well done for adhering to that. It seems you are the bigger person. Your husband has done nothing wrong to you nor did he do anything wrong at his former place of employment. What has happened was beyond his control and nobody should put him down for that.

Your mother should understand that hurovha is not a permanent thing; today it is him but tomorrow it could be any one of us. Why should you walk out on your husband? Marriage is about love so if the love is intact then there is no need to bail. You are one flesh.

Your money is his too, whether you have plenty or little. Do not forget to continue to uphold your “for better or for worse” vows. Mothers are supposed to be the backbones of our families; musana unotakura zvinohuremu hwakasiyana siyana.

What she is doing is disgraceful to say the least, abandoning her grandchildren and daughter because of money. You should not be demoralised by this. Instead, count your blessings and see what the Lord has done for you.

You have a loving husband, family and you also have a good and understanding mother-in-law. If your mother does not want to speak to you because of this, I think let her suit herself, but always pray for her sincerely so that she sees sense and comes around.

Life is like a seesaw; vachazonyara kusvika pamba pemukwasha zvanaka. This is not the end of the world. With prayer, education and effort he will surely be employed again. For now continue working hard. It’s just a bad phase and it will come to pass.

Always make sure your family is looked after. Do not let your mum call your husband names he is not a rovha – he has a name. Never forget your mother-in-law who is standing by your side. Your mother has proved to be a fair weather friend but she remains your mum. I wish you well and would be happy to hear from you.

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