Sunday, 31 July 2016


I’m struggling to find a solution to my problem, that’s why I’m writing to you. My husband proposed to me and I made him wait for three solid years before I said yes. After this long period I was truly convinced that he loved me, I am 32 and he is 35. We have been married for seven years and are now blessed with three kids, two boys and a girl.

Even though we have been together for some time now I find it peculiar that my husband is always singing ‘Since you have gone things are not the same in my life anymore I miss you’ and the song goes on.

This song is tearing us apart. My boss at work once said if you want to know more about a person pay attention to the songs they enjoy singing. Is my husband missing someone in his life? I complained about that song bitterly and he said karwiyo kakangoimbwawo zvakanaka.

He even sings this song subconsciously. Me and my husband takaroorana vematongo, we are from the same community. Did I marry a wrong person because it’s been sometime tichinetsana netunziyo twakadaro?

My main concern however is the tune he likes to sing along to, the one I mentioned earlier. Why can’t he stop this? What’s so special about this song? I love my family but this is bothering me so much. I am not a very beautiful woman but as a married woman I expect love from my hubby and handidi zvechitsotsi.

To tell you the truth I have on several occasions contemplated leaving him so that he gets his freedom back. Please amai help me I am so confused.

Thank you for writing in. My sixth sense tells me that you did not give me the full story. There could be other issues that have made you so unhappy in your marriage. Firstly let me help you by saying you should never look down upon yourself. Who told you that you are not very beautiful? Each individual is beautiful in their own way and in some cases it’s in the eyes of the beholder.

You are talking about chitsotsi, where is this coming from? Is your husband cheating on you? Is he starving you of the love you deserve and are entitled to? If my maths serves me right you have known each other for over 10 years, that’s a long time. You have invested so much in this union and you are contemplating quitting it for a song? Vasikana tipeiwo maserious.

Marriage is a lifelong companionship please treasure that. You were blessed with three beautiful children and you are prepared to walk away and leave these kids to grow up in a separate house from their mother because their father continues to sing a love song you don’t understand?

Yes it may be hurtful but weigh your options. I agree music can influence a person negatively or positively ndosaka vaye vanosvikirwa vachisutswa kana rwiyo rwasekuru rwaimbwa.

Some songs are solemn, some incite violence, pleasure or bad behavior but life is bigger than a song. Some songs are appreciated because of their lyrics, tunes, artists, places where they were first sung or even the dances they come with.

I personally sing in the shower every day but it is not reflective of anything that will be going on in my life at that moment. It’s a habit that provides self entertainment as I bath. I know the song you’re talking about, its titled ‘Forever Yours’ (Return) and it was written by Testic Conzoni and Diane Stephenson. It is pregnant with beautiful and meaningful lyrics. Tell your spouse what this song is doing to you. I listened to the song, its beautiful, why don’t you listen to the whole song without taking offense.

You don’t need a third party, this you can talk over with your hubby amicably. Take it easy ko vakatoimba ‘Eriza’ yaJah Prayzah munoita sei?

Don’t complicate your life by trying to split hairs. Enjoy your marriage and your family. Be of good cheer, it shall be well. I would be happy to hear from you again.



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