Sunday, 10 July 2016

I'M SLEEPING WITH MY SISTER'S HUSBAND

MY guilty conscience is killing me but I just cannot stop. My family set-up goes like this, I have one sister and one brother.

I am the last born so my beloved sister took me in when our parents retired from work and went to stay at our rural home. We are very tight, we are more of friends than siblings. I have been in love with babamukuru, my sister’s hubby for the past five years. I mean real love I do not want to lie and say he raped me. He proposed and I gladly accepted.


My sister has two kids, a boy and a girl. She is a wonderful mother and wife but babamukuru insists that he loves me more and it is just unfortunate. We are all Christians, we all go to church and pray daily as a family before we go to bed, my sister derives great joy from it.


I have betrayed my sister’s love and trust by having an affair with her husband. I do not want to destroy my sister’s marriage but now I am scared of what will happen if she finds out.
My parents and brother will be more than disappointed, baba vangu vanondiponda havadi nonsense. My sister travels a lot, her job is very demanding. Each time she goes out she brings wonderful gifts for us and she showers me with praises for being a wonderful and responsible sister.


When my sister is away I remain babamukuru’s wife. They have an elderly woman for a maid and it seems she has discovered that we are love birds. A few weeks ago she just said to me from nowhere chenjerai kuita zvinouraisa mukoma. I tried to make her explain what she meant vakati unozviziva. I told babamukuru he said he would rather fire the maid.
Please help me I am 24 years old, I cannot date any other man, I love my sister’s husband and he will not let me do that.


He now has given me very difficult options, the first is for him to divorce my sister and marry me or ini ndoita second wife.


He says we cannot carry on like this, we have to make it official because of the overwhelming love we have for each other. I am a university graduate today because of my sister, even kubasa kwandiri ndivo vakanditsvagira. Babamukuru is a great lover and love is sweet, zviri better ndezvipi? As I write this letter, my sister is out of the country. I am just confused.
MAI CHISAMBA RESPONDS
The worst thing a normal person with a conscience can do is to bite the hand that feeds them. You are making a mockery of your religion by the way you live. I just have a five-letter word in Shona that describes your behaviour, ‘benzi’.


You are a disgrace and you should be ashamed of yourself. In this letter you raised some points that show you have the capacity to reason, for instance, realising kuti baba havadi nonsense, saka uri kurasika papi?


If this is nonsense then why are you continuing with this affair? You admit that you have betrayed your sister’s love and trust, why? You go on to say that you do not want to destroy your sister’s marriage but this is what you are doing. If babamukuru now genuinely prefers you to be his wife then your sister is done and you will have caused the breakdown.


What kind of a woman are you who accepts a married man’s proposal? This type of arrangement reduces you to a prostitute and the worst bit about it is your client is your brother-in-law. What goes on in your mind when your sister calls you wonderful and responsible? You do not love your sister, you pretend to, you are backstabbing her.


You have to put your house in order, already the maid has picked up on this and before you know it this could be all over. My advice is for you to reject babamukuru’s options because they are all no good. Go to tete or ambuya mogara navo pasi nababamukuru, confess and ask for forgiveness from your sister. This is going to be a very bitter pill for your sister to swallow but that is the only way to go. It is better for her to get it from the horse’s mouth than from the neighbourhood. If you really care for your sister leave babamukuru. You are young and full of potential.


There are so many guys who are available, do not be taken advantage of. I suggest you look for alternative accommodation, that will help you forget about babamukuru.
Tete should also take this issue to your parents, it is important to hear what they have to say. Pray sincerely for God’s intervention and deliverance and never soil yourself with such affairs. Please keep me posted.

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