Saturday, 4 June 2016


I have a problem with my mother. Way back in 1999, I lost a brother. My husband and I decided to take amai for a while kuti tivanyaradze since my parents are divorced. Believe it or not up to this day she has not gone back.

We have a three-bedroomed house and all of my four kids (two boys and two girls) sleep in the same room because amai refused to share with the girls. The other bedroom is hers and hers alone kozoti one bedroom yedu.

The children are all grown up now and it is not good for them to sleep in the same bedroom. My mother has no respect for anyone, the way she treats my husband is terrible. Vane muromo hama zhinji mostly from my husband’s side no longer visit our home. She tells people that it is her house but the truth is imba ndeyedu.

She interferes in our internal affairs negatively to the extent of insulting my hubby when he comes home late.

When we buy provisions for my in-laws she complains bitterly that we are one sided and we are wasting a lot of money.

She is very controlling, she harasses my children as well. Nyaya dzavo mumaraini hadziperi I am just fed

I spoke to her brother, the one she used to stay with kumusha but even sekuru said he had given up on her and now everyone understands why my father walked out on her.

How do we send her back because we cannot take this any longer. My husband is very tolerant but now he is getting fed up too. Hapana chavanotenda amai vangu zvese vanoporonga.

I do not understand why her brothers and sisters cannot keep her in check and yet she is the youngest of them all. Please help, my husband and his people are wonderful ndanzwa nekunyara kuita sendakazvarwa nebenzi.


I do not understand what is happening nowadays because in our culture it was a struggle to get an ambuya to go and stay at the home of a son in-law permanently. This would only be done when there were no other options.

How can she stay for 17 years and yet vanga vangouya kuzonyaradzwa? This already shows that something is seriously wrong with her.

You are wondering why all her siblings avoid confronting her, kutotyawo chisveru no one in their normal senses would want to stay with such a trouble stirrer. I feel sorry for your children, they cannot continue like this.

Gogo should at least have agreed to share with the girls vachivadzidzisa hupenyu but because she is selfish, she refuses to do so. The solution to all this drama is having gogo go back to where she used to stay in 1999 and give your family a breath of fresh air. For now let us do it through the family.

I suggest you rope in your munyai or a representative to stand in and chair this meeting. Your mother’s siblings should also be present. You are not fighting, you want to correct this anomaly.

Promise her that you will continue to fend for her, all you need now is your elbow space. Solving issues within our families maintain our dignity as Africans.

Yes there is also a legal side to this dilemma, you could have her evicted but I advise you not to take this route yet as it will leave a very sour taste in your mouth.

The adage gudo guru peta muswe vadiki vagokuremekedza sums it all up. I would be happy to hear the outcome of this indaba.

Pray sincerely for your family and God’s intervention. I wish you all the best.



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