Sunday, 26 June 2016


I am a 28-year-old woman married to a guy 10 years older than me. We are blessed with two kids and have been married for 11 years. The problem is this hubby of mine is “Mr Know-It-All”, he does not take advice at all. We bought a stand quite some time ago and I have been telling him that we need to build now because we are not getting any younger.

He is a spoilt person, akajaira kubatsirwa nehama neshamwari. He stays in his comfort zone. His response when I raise the building issue is “mashaya pekugara here?”

I do not want to be stressed. This issue is driving me up the wall. To avoid unnecessary arguments I am now going out with a married man. This was the only way for me to have a stress-free life. The two of us have the same problems and we love each other so much. We both don’t care how this will end.

This guy provides for me and my kids. For the first time in life I feel cherished. Now life is sweet and smooth. I do not ask my husband for anything; zvaanenge aita ndizvozvo, ngaagare mucomfort zone make imomo.

My only problem now is how do I get him to start working on our stand, the children are growing up fast. I may end up marrying the guy I am going out with but my kids will need a home. Zvekuita lodging hazvina future. Please assist.
Your letter shows how heartless and irresponsible you are. A married woman bragging about going out with another man? An extra marital affair is nothing to be proud of. What you describe as love is lust and excitement. I am shocked to hear you say that it is the only way to get rid of stress. Mukati dzichiri kudhonza here pfungwa dzenyu vasikana? Why are you getting carried away like this?

Do you ever think of the guy’s wife? Put yourself in her shoes? Do you ever think of his children? How can you choose to be so careless about your life and potentially turn a blind eye to diseases such as HIV and Aids and many others? For interest’s sake, let’s imagine your spouses have affairs as well, then how big is this group?

In trying to drive stress away you are actually inviting bigger problems that you may be unable to solve. You may be sued for adultery by your hubby or your boyfriend’s wife if this is discovered and proved beyond doubt.

You need to respect yourself, your body and your marriage. How on Earth can you talk about marrying someone whilst you are married? Marriage is about being trustworthy. What makes you think this guy will marry and trust you imi chitsotsi chese muchitamba mese?

Wake up and smell the coffee. It’s not as easy as you think. You are being selfish. You aren’t thinking of your dear children. Yes, they need a roof over their heads but they also need your love and care because they look up to you.

I suggest you drop this boyfriend immediately. You have been unfaithful, you need to go and get tested. I mean you and your official husband so that you start on a clean slate. After this, rope in a professional counsellor who will help you pick up the pieces.

The idea of building your own home is very noble it cannot be over emphasised. Pfavirai ngoma husiku hurefu. I will be happy to hear from you again. Pray sincerely for God’s intervention and you will be delivered. Kwamavakutambira kunonyudza. sunday mail


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