Saturday, 21 May 2016

I FOUND OUT MY SISTER'S CHILD WAS FATHERED BY MY HUSBAND, SIX YEARS LATER

I fell in love with my boyfriend who is now my husband. During our courtship he slept with my sister and a child was sired.

When my sister was pregnant she told the family some guy was responsible. I remember seeing the guy. He promised to come back and make things right but he never returned.

I got married to my boyfriend and I am a professional while my husband is also gainfully employed. We have been blessed with two kids; the eldest is four and the younger is two. My sister’s child is six.

As a family we tried to follow up what happened to my sister’s boyfriend and make him pay child support.

I got the shock of my life when she confessed that it was my husband who fathered her kid. She says he raped her and told her never to speak to anyone about this.

I am heartbroken.

So it means kugara kwandanga ndichiita with my younger sister I was their fool. I have since chased her from my house. Never again will I want to see her. I no longer love my husband. I can never love or trust him again although I am still married to him.

How could he do that to me? Why did he not marry my sister then? I just cannot take it. The more I think about it the more I feel angry.

The family is in shock and I do not ever want to see these two people in my life again. Kufa hakusi nani here nhai? Please assist. Cheating with my sister while we were still dating, so basically it means we had the same boyfriend and then he ended up choosing me for a wife.

How do I know whether they are still in love or not? Life is very unfair.

MAI CHISAMBA RESPONDS

Your rage is understandable, but there is more to life than just focusing on the here and now. I am very saddened by what happened to you because the betrayal was done by people you loved dearly.

I know you are not in good spirits but since there is an innocent child involved, you need to calm down and establish what really happened.

My first question is who and where is this guy who came and accepted the responsibility for this child? Was this stage-managed or is there a possibility that he might actually be the father?

We also need to establish why your sister agreed to keep this grave secret for so long? If she was raped then your husband has a case to answer – he must be brought to book.

You are in shock and at times when one is in your state of mind they do things they later regret. I insist that you seek professional counselling first.

The relationship between your sister and hubby was a closely kept secret. These people need to come out in the open and speak out so that you and the family know what transpired.

 I would also advise you to take this child for DNA tests to establish paternity. If indeed it is his kid, he must pay child support and an investigation must be opened.

I know you are angry because of this betrayal but life has to go on.

Do not be short-sighted, kufa hakusi nani at all; do not even think along those lines. You have two beautiful kids and you are their role model. It is their right to be looked after by you.

Take it one step at a time. It is not the end of the world. Remember kunyange kusvibe sei kuchaedza chete. Pray sincerely – there is immense power in prayer.

 

 

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