Saturday, 30 April 2016


I am a married woman blessed with a son and daughter. My mother-in-law imposed her name on my daughter and I voiced my concern over that. My husband supported me and that name was never registered.

My daughter is 10 and my son is 12. Over the years I thought this was water under the bridge.

My husband’s youngest brother who recently got married has been pressured to name his daughter the same name. They have both refused saying it is my daughter’s name. We have even shown them the birth certificate to prove it was never registered.

My mother-in-law is breathing fire and accusing me of influencing everyone. She has threatened us kuti tichaona nevana vamuri kudada navo muchiramba zita rangu. Amwene is saying she only has two sons who both have refused her name.

The two tetes are teaming up with their mother saying tavashora zvisingaite. I told vana tete that they can give the name to one of their children if they so wished.

Mai Chisamba, is this the way it should be that a name is imposed on your child? Baba has not said a word on this so we do not know what he thinks about what is going on.

There is a lot of tension within the family, how do we resolve this? Varoora vavo, her brother’s wives refused the name too that is why she wants to use pressure on us. Ko sei vanhu vese vari kuramba? Please assist the discomfort is killing us. Worse, we all go to the same church.

I touched on something similar last year although the circumstances were quite different.
I really do not understand why people get into conflict unnecessarily. My question: is what is in a name? There are thousands of people world over who share the same name with your mother-in-law.

People will remain individuals despite a few characteristics they may share with members of the family. In the Shona culture when they say “mwana ane zita’, it will be a name given to someone after a certain ritual is done.

It does not matter whether you had other names or not rinonzi zita regombwa and this can only happen after the previous owner of the name is deceased.

Your mother-in-law is still alive so do not worry about this issue even if you had accepted rinonzi remadanha kungoti marifarirawo. Families should learn to not pick fights over nothing.

Every couple has a right to name their children as they please it is also up to them to ask amai or anyone else to do that on their behalf if they so wish.

I do not understand why amai is bulldozing maybe this is the reason why everyone is saying no. Vari kuita senge pane zviripo ipo pasina.

There is absolutely no need to threaten varoora about this issue. Why is baba silent whilst the family is tearing each other apart? He has the potential to end this squabble.

I do not think the church is helping much and why even bother to mention it when you are all doing the opposite of what the church teaches?

After baba speaks, and you are not happy then you can engage the pastor/priest to talk and pray with the family. You need each other; kungofungirana nekutukana hazvivake musha.

Your sisters-in-law should not take their mother’s side instead they should help calm amai down. It defeats all logic that a Christian who goes to church can keep a grudge for ten years, oh God forbid!

I would be happy to hear from you again. Be of good cheer, the Supreme Being is always in charge and will help


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