I am a married man aged 38 and my wife is 34 and we are blessed with sons. We are a Christian couple and go to one of these Pentecostal churches.
My wife has a position and she really works her heart out and I support her. The problem now is she plays big in church. Hatina zvakawanda but we are comfortable. There is a lot of unnecessary competition there in the name of pledging.
I spoke to my wife that God knows where we stand financially and it is not good for us to fight because of pledges that go towards the church.
The problem is that now we are in debt and servicing these debts is eating into our family budget. We had saved some money to get our sons decent school uniforms but that money was taken and given to church.
We are both civil servants you can get a rough idea of how much the two of us bring to the table.
Day in day out people phone or come to ask for their money. Kwedu kunodaidzirwa vanopa zvakanyanya — mufunge she is one of the best.
Just last week someone forcibly took her laptop because she did not fulfil her promise of giving back the money she had borrowed from this lady.
Now we have stopped joint budgeting because vana vangatambure. What hurts me most is to see my wife lead such a life, this is affecting me and the children terribly.
Even the kids vanoti phone yamai ikarira they ask what shall I tell the caller. She now lies in front of them handisati ndasvika kumba or ndichatuma mwana. This is making me angry.
Should I stop her from going to church or should I talk to this pastor who is always preaching about money?
Our happiness has been compromised. Please assist, vanokwereta kana zvechimbadzo so that she remains one of the best.
Maybe it is better for me and the boys to quit church.
MAI CHISAMBA RESPONDS
When marriages are shaken because of church activities then there is no point of going there. The purpose of any faith worth its salt is to uphold whatever is good.
The problem is many people have forgotten the true reason why people should go to church. It is not about prestige, neither is it about other worldly reasons.
It is about serving the Almighty and only doing so from the heart will attract God’s attention. One may pledge above the rest and still remain an empty soul.
My advice for your wife is for her to concentrate on paying back her debts. I doubt if she will ever get her blessings when other people are complaining about her.
Parents are their children’s role models and for them to turn them into liars and dishonest individuals is not good.
They learn a lot from just observing the goings on at home, they are very impressionable. Engage a professional counsellor who is a Christian to assist you.
You need to go through this with her. Maybe she is confused and does not know how to stop. God is not interested in large or small amounts but in how sincere one is when they give these pledges.
The good book instructs people to pay their debts and to live a straight forward life.
Yes, bull offerings are commendable but kuzoenda kuchimbadzo zvine ngozi dzakawanda and it is very far-fetched.
Go through this in the confines of your home. I do not think it is a good idea to quit the church. Instead work on this problem privately. It is premature to involve the pastor.
Pray for your family sincerely.
God knows when we have and when we do not because all things come from him. I hope this will work out well.
I would be happy to hear that you two reconcile and get back to budgeting together.